in spite of me, a tribute to Shahrukh Khan

I mentioned that I watched Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham the first time because my sister wanted me to pick up a long, fun film which would take her mind off everything. I also mentioned that after I watched the film I was in love. I was in love with the music, the costumes, the lights, the decorations, the locations, the smooth transition between supposed Delhi and supposed London, the sense of romance, the tribute to 'love', the respect shown to the family and the winning self confidence of the leading stars.

When I picked up that DVD I had no idea the film in my hand was about to open a whole new world for me. I didn't know that one film could make you sit in front of the internet for hours reading about stars and directors; that a film can make you try desparately to figure out if the cultural events portrayed are accurate representations of what one would really experience in India or not. I didn't know that because of this film and many other films I subsequently watched, I would cease enjoying Hollywood and Western films the way I used to (at least for the time being that is the result!) It didn't occur to me for a moment that a single film could pave the path to the desire to travel to a country, learn a language, learn about a country's sense of the self and the wish to be immersed in something that for 30 years had hardly anything to do with me at all.

I remember walking home from work one day composing a letter to Shahrukh Khan in my head. It was a letter of thanks. I was thanking him for helping me get through my sister's illness. I felt it was to a large extent because of this film and several other Shahrukh films (for Shahrukh films were all that were available in Karstadt when I first started to explore Hindi films) that I was inspired to giggle and laugh and tell stupid stories as my sister slowly slipped away.

Over the past 2 years I have watched many films- and most of them do not contain Shahrukh Khan. I have discovered that millions of girls and women love Shahrukh; dream Shahrukh; rush to the cinema on opening day to watch a new Shahrukh film and rattle on for hours to a news camera about how much they appreciated blah blah blah blah about Shahrukh or the other stars around him. I myself have made it to the opening day of 2 Shahrukh films - first in Mumbai and then in Delhi and I need to remind any reader that I have spent just about 2 months in total in India. I have convinced myself that I have outgrown Shahrukh films; I have discovered stars with greater originality, better acting skills, better looks (not that hard?), better dancing; I have decided he's too arrogent, too pretentious, too popular, too... too... too etc etc. I have even spent a time avowing undying 'screen' love to Aamir Khan.

But at the end of the day, much as I would love to be original and different from most, I can't really start a blog about Hindi films and me, without my little tribute to Shahrukh Khan.

As I have stated above, Shahrukh Khan is more than a star symbol for me. His energy, charisma, smile and noisy annoying self helped me through a really tough time. Films like K3G, DDLJ, Kal Ho Naa Ho or Veer Zaara, the first films I watched, have become more than kitch big budget films with Shahrukh at the center.

I hope Shahrukh himself never sees this piece, but I thank him and the cast and crew and directors and producers of big budget Hindi films for keeping the smile on my face.